


Group chat

by njk19



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Boys In Love, F/F, F/M, Friendship, Girls in Love, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-27
Updated: 2019-05-27
Packaged: 2020-03-20 07:20:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18987934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/njk19/pseuds/njk19
Summary: Au. Group chat.Alec (25) & Simon (24) been together 8 years married for 3.Jace (24) & Clary (25) been together 1 year.Magnus (29) & Raphael (26) been together 1 year.Lydia (27) & Isabelle (22) been together 3 months.Maia (26) & Jordan (26) been together 5 years.Meliorn (30)Sebastian (27)Raj (35)





	Group chat

**Clary:** does anyone remember what happened last night bcos I’m so fucking confused. I’m covered in paint.

 

**Simon:** well let me tell you fuckers. All I remember is my wonderful husband saying he’s going to visit Maryse with jace and Isabelle for the weekend. We had some bomb ass sex. He left after he got himself sorted. Clary you phoning me drunk off your ass crying bcos you wanted jace which seriously gross. Me going to the shop spending 400 on alcohol. Coming back to find Lydia trying and failing to pick the lock to my house. Me and Lydia drinking most of the drink. Absolutely paralytic drunk going to pandemonium. Bumping into you, Magnus, Meliorn, seb, Maia, Jordan, raj and Rapha. Half way through the night losing them and it end up being just me, you, Lydia, seb, raj and meliorn. Ending up at a strip club thanks to seb. Some man trying to give me a lap dance which led to me punching him in the face. Clary throwing a cocktail over some slut. Meliorn having sex with one of the strippers where everyone could see. Dirty boy!!!! Leaving before we get thrown out. Breaking into a school. Playing sword fights with the toys ((WE ARE FUCKING AWFUL FOR THAT)) let’s hope our respectable other half’s don’t find out about that. Some how making friends with some random good looking people. Getting stoned bcos of clary and everyone else you fucking idiots! Finding traffic cones and fighting with them. Having a paint fight fuck knows where it came from probs stolen. Then getting more drink. Ending up at church sitting through the Sunday morning service.

I’m a Jew for Christ sake wtf. AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH. Atleast we didn’t get put in a cell for the night:)

 

**Clary:**  man that’s awesome.

 

**Jace:** no wonder people say it’s a bad idea clary, Simon, Lydia, seb, raj and meliorn going out together. You lot don’t do nothing that’s not extreme.

 

**Clary:** since when did you get in our group chat

 

**Alec:** since I knew my crazy husband would more than likely do something stupid with you lot so I decided to add the rest of us when you were all asleep and we just so happened to be lucky enough that you didn’t realise so we could have a good laugh. I mean my husband the one that was only meant to go out for a night out last year to celebrate clary’s birthday and ended up going to Ibiza by himself because he was so drunk and didn’t have a clue wtf he was doing.

 

**Simon:**  heyyyyy baby at least I’m fun;)

 

**Raphael:** before you mention sex. Just fucking don’t! You both are insufferable even after 8 years together 3 in which you have been married 

 

**Alec:**  we aren’t even that bad.

 

**Jace:**  you fucking are. Your so loved up even after all this time constantly all over each other. It’s cute but come on seriously dude.

 

**Simon:** JESUS I THINK MOST OF YALL NEED TO GET FUCKED IN THE ASS AND CHILL. Just like alec is going to do to me now. Love you all bye! 

 

**Alec:**  fml why is my husband like this ahahah bye.

 

**Magnus:** man we have to all go on a night out like that it sounds amazing!! Also I still can’t get over Alec and Simon together and it’s been 8 years. But they are perfect for each other.

 

**Raphael:** stop with that gay shit

 

**Magnus:** you love me peaches

 

**Raphael:** I don’t liar

 

**Magnus:** my heart :(

 

**Isabelle:** man do you think Alec even read what Simon said about what they done bcos I’m surprised he didn’t go to that strip club and rip that mans face off

 

**Jace:**  probably not ahahahha

 

**Clary:** we will soon find out

 

**Maia:**  wouldn’t expect to hear from them until later on tonight maybe tomorrow morning they haven’t been together the whole weekend come on they are going to be all over each other

 

**Jordan:** no surprise we haven’t heard from the rest of the group probs still dying from the sound of how last night went

 

**Raj:**  I’m ill good bye

 

**Raj left the conversation**  

 

**Sebastian:**  I cant cope with this life. Why do I do this? Why do I think going out with Simon and the rest of them is a good idea? Why haven’t I realised that just because he’s all loved up doesn’t mean he’s any less batshit crazy

 

**Alec:** hey you fucking little dickhead. Seb I will personally rip your eyeballs out and make you eat them if you ever call my baby crazy again. You got it shrimpy?

 

**Sebastian:**  sorry?

 

**Alec:** you fucking better be only I’m allowed to call MY HUSBAND

 

**Simon:** aw I love you so much my beautiful darling husband❤️

 

**Alec:**  I love you too xxx

 

**Clary:** aw cute man

 

**Alec:**  WHAT IN THE FUCKKKKKK

 

**Simon:** damn tf are you so mad about we only just had sex for Christ sake

 

**Alec:**  some ugly cunt tried to give you a lap dance I will rip his fucking stupid dick off and shove it up his arsehole the little rat.

 

**Simon:**  babe. baby. I punched him it’s all good your the only man for me

 

**Alec:** I better be

 

**Simon:** come on let’s go back to bed

 

**Sebastian:** wow they are still so cute

 

**Meliorn:**  SALEC ARE MY FAVE COUPLEEEEE ❤️❤️❤️ my gay beans

 

**Isabelle:** why is that half of this group are still immature

 

**Lydia:** bcos we are cool asf 

 

**Simon:**  we are living our best life

 

**Isabelle:** I missed your face babe

 

**Lydia:**  me too cutie

 

**Alec:** stop trying to steal mine and simons thunder we will always be the number one couple. The cutest. The power couple of all power couples. You gay ass freaks!

 

**Simon:**  what my man said^^

 

**Luke:**  what the fuck

 

**Alec:** shit I didn’t mean to add you ahahhahahah woops

 

**Luke:** Simon? Clary? DID YOU NOT LEARN YOUR LESSON ON SIMONS STAG DO? You two, raj, seb, meliorn and Lydia why doesn’t it surprise me. I mean you tried to make sure simons stag do was the best which ended up with you lot spending a night in the cells.

 

**Simon:** that wasn’t my fault I’m innocent

 

**Luke:** innocent my arse

 

**Meliorn:**  it is a nice arse

 

**Luke:**  what the fuck piss off

 

**Meliorn:** ahahahah cute baby

 

**Luke:**  would you like to keep your job

 

**Simon:**  wow. Luke and meliorn? Who’d have thought. Is he your sugar daddy?

 

**Luke:** definitely not you stupid boy! Why I have a son like you I don’t know your terrible just like your friends. How your husband puts up with you I don’t know.

 

**Simom:**  the sex is good like real good 

 

**Alec:**  Simon baby I would shut up if I was you. Maybe mentioning our sex life to your dad isn’t the best idea either...

 

**Simon:** what’s he going to do ground me and send me to bed hell no im a grown ass man. Also well he should realise that since he raised me he’s going to hear shit he don’t like I think he got used to it when I was a kid 

 

**Luke:**  what I will do is drag your stupid ass back to my house and take your phone off you and ground you don’t think I won’t

 

**Simon:** oh shit

 

**Simon:** I love you dad sorry

 

**Luke:** that’s what I thought you little shitbag

 

**Clary:** ahahah ahahaha banter

 

**Luke:** clary

 

**Clary removed Luke from the conversation**

**Clary added Raj to the conversation**

 

**Simon:**  you have some balls kiddo

 

**Clary:**  I get it from my brother

 

**Simon:**  yeah let’s avoid dads for a while

 

**Clary:**  was counting on you saying that

 

**Simon:**  what do you say about hopping on a plane to the other side of the world it might save us the earache

 

** Alec:  ** clary fuck off and don’t answer that I will protect you babe your not going anywhere. 

** Simon: **  aw babe I’m so lucky to have you. I love you gorgeous. Good night fellow peasants

 

** Alec: **  I love you dwarf ❤️❤️

 

** Simon: **  you wound me :/

 


End file.
